Last week, I was absolutely crushed to hear of a 30-year-old man who committed suicide in California. I know it is the extremely tragic and unfortunate truth that this sort of thing happens daily, but reading this particular story hit really close to home. This man was very close to my age, he was a husband, a father of three boys, and he was also a pastor at a church. The more I read about his story, the more my heart broke for him, his family, and his church. Thinking about the whole situation has brought to mind some thoughts I’d like to share.
The first thing I’d like to acknowledge is that this life is NOT easy. I don’t think we should sugar coat it. I’m not saying that it’s all bad, but it sure ain’t all simple. The daily pressures of just being a contributing member of society alone can be awfully heavy. Then, on top of those forces of life, we as Christians, have to pick up our cross daily and choose to follow Jesus (against the flow of culture around us). Again, I’m not saying it’s bad, in fact, I’m convinced this is best thing in the world. But, I think we are remiss if we try to brush it off as just a nice stroll in the park.
For some, it seems more negative than positive comes along their path on most days. All around us, people can be walking in despair, depression, anxiety, fear, guilt, shame, and the pain of betrayal. The list goes on and on. I think we ought to say it how it is. Life is messy and hard. Too often we want to make it seem like everything is just fine and dandy, when we all really know it’s not. Why do we do this?
I’m not entirely sure why we feel like we need to make it seem that we have it all together. I believe we need to release ourselves from that expectation. Almost all of the people in the Bible were broken and inadequate. God used those who were tattered and tearing at the seams. Our Lord used the ones who didn’t have it all together and weren’t afraid to admit it. I think this was so that God’s glory would shine through those broken vessels (1 Corinthians 4:7). I think we need to be okay with not being okay.
I also believe we need to be people who are okay with those around us not being okay. I think this is something we can grow in together. We all know people who are going through massively hard things. As we talk with them, it can seem easier for us to say the super-Christian words such as, “Remember, God is good all the time.” I sure can do this. I have done it.
Rather than sit in the middle of those hurts with them, I tend to want to quickly slap a Romans 8:28 band-aid on their forehead. I essentially can say, “’God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.’ So buck up.” Oh, I know that that Bible verse is true, but what practical good does that do for someone who is in some of the deepest pain imaginable? Romans 12:15 tells us to not overthink it. “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” Jesus was really good at this. I know I have a lot of room to improve in this area.
One of the most beautiful things we need to remember is that God intends us to be the healing hands of Jesus. This isn’t just for the lost, but also for the body of Christ. This is how He most often meets us and provides for us — through each other. I’m reminded of Galatians 6:2, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”
I am not an expert in this. I know I don’t have all the answers. I do know, however, that not talking about it isn’t going to help anybody. I have to believe that the Lord put this on my heart to share it with you. My prayer is that through this we can at least begin a conversation.
If you are struggling, my prayer is that you would be able to reach out to someone. I pray that you will be able to talk to a relative, friend, Small Group Leader, Deacon, or Pastor. If you don’t feel like there is someone like that who you can call, please visit the Center for Christian Therapy’s website (one of The Rock Cares Ministries) where there are people you can get in contact with.
My prayer is that we would all understand this truth, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” — Psalm 34:18
I’m praying for you,
Posted in A Word from the Pastor