There is one thing I know. At some point, you will definitely offend or sin against someone close to you. Simply stated, between family, friends, co-workers, (or just doing life with people) conflict happens.
The good news is that the time between the offense and the resolution is within our control. Dealing with it quickly creates peace in our hearts. On the other hand, if not dealt with, conflict causes war in our hearts. Jesus gives us some clear steps on how to resolve conflict.
Four ways the Bible guides us through resolving conflict:
Do it quickly (Matthew 5:23-25)
First of all, Jesus tells us that we need to resolve conflict quickly. His sense of urgency and seriousness comes from these verses. “Leave your sacrifice there at the altar and go and be reconciled with the person who has caused trouble in your heart.”
Jesus wants us to have a heart at peace, not at war. If we resolve conflict quickly, we can change our hearts. It’s at that point Jesus wants us to come back to “offer the sacrifice.”
Face-to-face (Matthew 18:15)
Secondly, we need to do it face-to-face. With our technologically driven world, it’s easy to think we can resolve conflict through a text message, shoot a reply through Twitter, or send a Slack message. However, something is lost by doing it that way. Sending an angry email gives you a chance to vent or get it off your chest. But, it’s one-sided and does nothing for the other person. You lose the human connection — tone of voice, eye contact and body language.
One-on-one (Matthew 18:15)
Next, Jesus tells us to do it one-on-one. “Go privately and point out the offense.” Don’t rush to others to complain about it. Instead, go to the person. Keep it private.
Get Help (Matthew 18:16-17)
Lastly, if the conflict cannot be resolved quickly (between the two parties), it’s biblical to bring in an additional person to help mediate. This emphasizes the seriousness of the issue, and it also helps provide further testimony (Deuteronomy 19:15).
In conclusion, conflict isn’t easy. However, Jesus outlines a great plan to help us resolve our disputes. Put very simply: do it quickly, face-to-face, one-on-one, and get additional help if needed. Always look for a heart of peace and not of war. Today, it might be more vital for you to resolve conflict with someone than go to a worship service. Jesus wants us to resolve conflict before we bring our “sacrifices” to Him.
Learning to do the next right thing,
Posted in A Word from the Pastor